The Final Statement
«It’s time to end patriarchy. The time for women has come.»
I’m being charged with a serious offense. Am I expecting any leniency? No, I’m not. And what leniency could there be if I don’t consider myself a criminal? If I had really committed a crime, due to my moral, ethical, and internal qualities, I wouldn’t have done it in the first place. On the contrary, I would demand the harshest punishment. To prove my innocence, it’s enough to open the Constitution and understand what’s happening in this country. If it’s a war, then call it by its name — a war. Then apply military censorship. On what grounds is military censorship being applied to me? Has the Constitution ceased to be the Constitution? Based on the actions of our branches of government, they — not I — have spat on the Constitution. To them, it’s just a piece of paper, nothing more. And that’s their problem.
All of this [criminal case] is nothing compared to a possible nuclear conflict. Power must change. I’m going to vote for [politician] Yulia Galyamina. I believe it’s time to end patriarchy. The time for women has come.
Now they’ll give me eight and a half years in a colony, and you think I’ll cry or have a breakdown? No. This is just a new stage in life. And believe me, there are far more decent people behind bars than in the ‘Eat Russia’ party. Patriotism is love for one’s homeland. And love for your homeland shouldn’t manifest in encouraging crimes. Corruption is a crime, attacking your neighbor is a crime. There will never be a winner in a bloodbath between two brothers, believe me. I don’t understand these calls: ‘beat those, beat these’ — I feel sorry for everyone equally. I don’t separate Ukrainians and Russians: I feel sorry for every drop of innocent blood spilled.
No question, I lived very well up until a certain point, until 2020. Until I began to face harsh repression. Maybe I should have closed my eyes too, gone with the flow, and enjoyed life like everyone else. But I can’t do that, I’m a mother. Why did I get involved in public activism? At one point, I realized that money isn’t the most important thing, that there’s something else — what you carry in your soul — because you won’t take a single penny to the grave. I came into this world naked, and naked I will return. What will remain after me? Only my soul. And if that soul is filled only with greed, only with the desire to provide the maximum for my children, then what will become of me in the end? I don’t want to feel ashamed, I don’t want my children to feel ashamed of me. I don’t want to spend my old age running to church like these old ladies, atoning for my sins, but praying with dignity to an icon in the corner of my kitchen, like my grandmother, who lived a righteous life.
Our president loves proverbs. Let me remind him of a few:
A fish rots from the head.
You can’t force someone to love.
Might doesn’t make right.
A liar will lie again.
The V and Z symbols they paint on equipment. Employees in uniform will watch Seventeen Moments of Spring. Does nothing stir inside them? There’s a V on the uniforms there. What is this? It’s just a crime against the army on a state level. It’s a spit on the grave of every veteran. I’m saying this as I feel it deep inside. Where did fascists use the Z symbol? In concentration camps! Blocks with gas chambers! Now people are slapping this symbol everywhere. Think about what you’re putting up. Well, those at the top have lost their minds, but what do you have a head for? They’re hanging this symbol again in cities that were defeated by the fascists! I didn’t come up with this; I’m not the one discrediting it. Our equipment carries fascist symbols. What will people think of us? Those who slapped them on should be jailed.
If it had all stopped back in February or March, something could still have been done and changed. But now, this sin is on all of us. And despite the fact that I was against it from day one, this sin is mine to bear too. I don’t separate myself from Russia. I had the chance to leave. But why should I leave when I can bring order here? There are many of us, understand that! It only seems like you’re alone when you sit in your apartment. No! Start speaking, start doing something. We cannot rely on those in uniform.
I knew perfectly well what I was getting into. From 2021, I felt that sooner or later they’d put me in jail. Because in our country, fighting corruption gets you imprisoned, it’s our national glue — corruption. And challenging that glue is punished most severely. They’re not judging me for a post, there are a million posts like that online, and only a few people are detained. They’re judging me for what I did. There’s a phrase by Efrosinia Kersnovskaya [writer, artist, GULAG prisoner]: ‘Fear, betrayal, and servility — the three pillars that uphold the stability of our regime.’ Written over 70 years ago. Has anything changed?
One more excerpt from her. This happened in Bessarabia when it was being annexed by the Soviet Union. A political commissar, a former sailor, sits in a Bessarabian home, eating, and says, ‘We struggled for 23 years, went hungry, endured all sorts of hardships to bring freedom to the working people of the world, and here you are feasting on sausages and white bread.’ A young girl who worked as a servant in this house replied, ‘Did we ask you to starve for 23 years to liberate us from sausages and white bread?’ Why did I quote this? Maybe before going somewhere with your samovar, you should put your own house in order.
And the zombie box. You have to watch it! Because only then do you understand the degree of societal degradation. There’s ‘We don’t abandon our own,’ all this victory-madness, and at the same time — ‘help Anya and Sveta raise money for an operation.’ There’s money for shells, but not for children!
The people in power now are, of course, frightening. Why are they there? Because of low social engagement. People don’t feel responsible for the future. When we personalize this responsibility, and we, like the Germans, go through what they went through, then we will take responsibility for what we’ve done to the peoples — only then will things change for us. We’ll go through our path, understand that making mistakes isn’t shameful, but doing the same thing again is. Believe in the light, act, don’t sit idle, write letters! We’ll meet in freedom. I won’t serve out my full sentence; change will come before then. No totalitarian regime has ever been as strong as right before its collapse.
Leninsky District Court, Barnaul, Altai Krai, Russia
February 14, 2023
More about the case: https://memopzk.org/figurant/ponomarenko-mariya-nikolaevna/
Photo: SOTA
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